through recent reflection i have found myself to be quite indifferent. i just rly dun care too much about anything? (note that this is simply a generalization and that there ARE certain exceptions to this) i just don't feel like im passionate enough in many areas. for example, as a cgl, i don't feel like i care enough to do stuff. not that i don't care for my cell group, i mean they're the coolest bunch.. but i just can't seem to bring myself to actively support them or like help them grow. same deal with my friends from skool. and the ironic thing about my indifference is that the name of my blog is 'be:different' and although the definition of difference is different (lol it's like a pun or sumthin) i feel like it's sorta a.. sign? that i shud rly try and change my ways. mm.. yep
so recently i've been sorta sick? felt like i was gonna die yesterday. T-T um.. and im gonna hafta get an ultrasound and stuff. and i hafta admit all this sickness stuff has sorta got me worried. like a young (handsome =P) guy like me shudn't be gettin this sick like randomly.. and i hafta admit at certain times i've felt like life was rly unfair. and like wut i did to deserve this. i guess this is how ppl feel when they like have a family member die of cancer or sumthin then leave God for it because it seems unfair, and no just God would allow this. b4 i felt like these ppl rly made no sense but i guess now i can sorta sympathize with them to a certain degree? altho i kno this sorta thinking is rly wrong.. ya, that's sorta random =S
-brian^^
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3 comments:
I think i've experienced that feeling before....tht there's jus no motivation to do stuff in general. It's something really quite hard to do...to get urself to "care" when u normally don't; unless ur a person who really does!
But i guess...it goes back to ur desire for God. How much do u care about God?(not questioning u or anythin, it's between u and God) yea, i sound really...iunno, but it is quite true. The number of things ur willing to do for Him, depends on how much u care about it (jus sumthin to reflect on, i guess). But i can see, that you've already stepped up so much already (worship, CGL, committee..), I can see ur a man of God. Keep it up! Keep up tht devotional life, it's evident how it has changed and worked in ur life=)
Btw, Hope u get better!...nd tht ur not...still sick? I'll prayin for you either way=)
And....of course, I think we can all relate to times when God lets things like this happen to us or ppl around us. But the thing is...even through the Bible (and presently), God lets us suffer at times...and we don't really know why. nd usually, it happens to ppl who have been constantly faithful to God. But it does say, blessed are those who remain faithful through trials nd suffering...nd when i mean trial nd suffering, it doesn't exactly have to be "persecution" (a bit exagerrated), it could be times like this when u feel like falling away from God. That could also be satans doing...to cause u to feel tht way. iunno those are my thoughts.
keep up the blogging!...I'll try to read and comment as often as possible=) if i have anythin...
Btw, my blog is:
http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/
it hasn't been active for a while....
o conan.. ur so cute!
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