entering the realm of.. MANHOOD

so i just finished my pseudo-march break thingy.. haven't been to skool in a WEEK due to sickness/badminton. so i gotta get back into that working MOOD. haven't been there for a long time.. can't rly remember last time i rly WORKED. lolx!

1 Thessalonians 5

so first part of this chapter deals with the second coming of Jesus. i guess it's just a gud reminder to stay on my toes sorta thing. and just always be prepared. like we're already rly fortunate to have warning from a plethora of verses from the bible (lolz, nice word altho im not sur if i used it properly..) so i guess we just hafta make use of our resources and just always be rdy. also a gud reminder to evangelize ppl asap. dunno how long we have to bring as many ppl to Christ as possible. specially friends, like how sum time ago in wintercamp the speaker said that to truly be a friend is to bear the burden of bringing them closer to God. mhmz.

second part is basically encouragement/advice to believers. and the part that stuck out the most for me was this:

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle,
encourage the faintheared, help the weak,
be patient with them all.

-1 Thessalonians 5:14 [ESV]
o ya, btw i got a new bible!! thnx abbie!

so its a reminder for me that, as humans, we are all equal. and we just gotta help each other out to work towards being closer to God. i constantly need a reminder to take MANY steps back and just see people as children of God with Godly plans for their lives. too often i look at people and judge them and dislike them or wutnot. and ya.. bad habit i have =S

btw, gonna bring my bible to school tomorrow! will i read it?!?! in front of PPL?!?! i guess i'll find out soon enough =P

-brian^^

btw this is my FIRST post as an 18 year old! had a blast this birthday, thank you to all participants =)

posting again! lolx..

Philipians 2

hm.. there's plenty to talk about lol.. seeing as i haven't blogged for a friggin week!

um.. so i guess i'll start by sayin the ultrasound and gastroscopy went fine.. dun remember if i talked bout that stuff b4 in the blog but w/e. so im just waiting for results now.. fingers crossed that its nothing too serious. just rly tryin to trust in God and have faith in Him regarding this situation. mebbe sumthing gud will come out of this! sumhow..

mm.. ya nothing else has rly happened lately lol. so i guess i'll go rite into more spiritual stuffs.

so today i went to the good friday youth rally at bayview glen. and i must admit it was actually quite gud. was not sure of wut to expect going into it an hour late, but ya.. the speaker was pretty gud. rly IN UR FACE sorta style.. which im assuming actually may offend certain ppl, but w/e. so he talked bout 3 steps to living a more radical christian life. one that was like ON FIRE with passion for Christ and wutnot. so they are..
1) pray that God will open doors, give you oppurtunities to share about your faith
2) bring and READ ur bible at school
3) start a prayer list of ppl that you want to get to know Christ
definitely WAAAY hard to bring and read bible at school. very nerve-racking.. just the THOUGHT of it. but i think i RLY want to try to do this. becuz i think i am gettin into this sorta pattern of like a bland existence for God. and i wanna try and break this.. try and rly live a christ-like life and break free from the shackles of mediocrity. (like how i loaded that with funny words =P) so yes.. stay tuned to see how this turns out!

random thought now.. well not completely random, it was from today's devo. so its about who u serve for. like suur it's easy to serve and do "Godlly" things when u get praised for it. when there are ppl watching and u KNOW ur gettin sum niiice rep! but ya.. "wut if we're called to do work that nobody else wants to do and nobody gives us a second look when we're done?" ya.. so just sumthin to think about a suppose. im sur every1 can relate to this in SUM way.. i kno i definitely do..

-brian^^

not to us..

BTW so everyday i blog i do devos.. and im sorta doing this thing where i read the devo from a book, then read the chapter of the bible that the devo's verse is from.. ya so just incase u guys wanna do some reading and reflecting of ur own.. so i guess from now on i'll say wut chapter and stuff im readin..

1 Corinthians 1

so the two things that i've been sorta thinkin about today is thanksgiving and the notion that we are from God

firstly thanksgiving. i think too often in life we forget that all our blessing are from God. and not only that, we tend to shift the thanks onto ourselves and become proud of our various accomplishments. and i think this is a pretty big thing for me. I have SOO many things in my life to be thankful for, yet instead of thanking God for these things I often forget and even let these things distract me from God. so ya.. sumthin i shud keep in mind more..

secondly, how we are from God. soo.. like all other things we ourselves are from God. i think too often we forget that we are sent from God. that when we serve and such we are not depending on our own strengths but relying on God's. so similar to my first point actually, i feel like i need to humble myself and recognize that i am but a servant of God. like its ok to be imperfect when im telling others about Christ or serving or anything because i kno that i am being supported by a God that is omnipotent. mhm..

and ya.. it may be sorta difficult to follow my train of thought as i write this stuff.. so.. i apologize in advance =P

-brian^^

indifference?

through recent reflection i have found myself to be quite indifferent. i just rly dun care too much about anything? (note that this is simply a generalization and that there ARE certain exceptions to this) i just don't feel like im passionate enough in many areas. for example, as a cgl, i don't feel like i care enough to do stuff. not that i don't care for my cell group, i mean they're the coolest bunch.. but i just can't seem to bring myself to actively support them or like help them grow. same deal with my friends from skool. and the ironic thing about my indifference is that the name of my blog is 'be:different' and although the definition of difference is different (lol it's like a pun or sumthin) i feel like it's sorta a.. sign? that i shud rly try and change my ways. mm.. yep

so recently i've been sorta sick? felt like i was gonna die yesterday. T-T um.. and im gonna hafta get an ultrasound and stuff. and i hafta admit all this sickness stuff has sorta got me worried. like a young (handsome =P) guy like me shudn't be gettin this sick like randomly.. and i hafta admit at certain times i've felt like life was rly unfair. and like wut i did to deserve this. i guess this is how ppl feel when they like have a family member die of cancer or sumthin then leave God for it because it seems unfair, and no just God would allow this. b4 i felt like these ppl rly made no sense but i guess now i can sorta sympathize with them to a certain degree? altho i kno this sorta thinking is rly wrong.. ya, that's sorta random =S

-brian^^

reign in us

o great and mighty one,
with one desire we come.
that you
would reign,
that you would reign in us

so recently, there's been a lot of talk of distractions that get in the way of God. and i guess that's sumthing that every1 can relate to. for me, i think it's really a matter of getting my priorities straightened out. i've been thinkin about it, and i have come to the conclusion that the problem did not rest on how much time/attention I gave to other things. The problem was the amount of time/attention I was willing to give to God. The problem was my lack of a yearning for Him. Quantitatively, I did not hold other things abnormally high.. just in comparison to how highly I held God everything seemed to be so big.

now i have to find a way to readjust my life and focus on God more. I have already started this by trying to do devos/read the bible more (evident as I did devo's today despite the fact that I RLY need to work on my bio project due thursday ><) but ya, im trying out the whole 'everything will fall into place when you place God first' sorta thing. guess i'll see how things work out soon enough..

-brian^^

how can u look at the world in the same way..

firstly.. and sorta randomly, i had a very enjoyable day today =)

so i went to that missions thing at church this past saturday, and i must say it was rly gud. something that sorta struck me was when bern said like 'how can we look at the world in the same way after meeting Christ'? and i guess it was just like a wake-up call of how my life hasn't gone through the necessary changes after receiving Christ. I live such a passive lifestyle with an 'i'll-do-it-tomorrow' sort of attitude. and ya.. i guess i just have to remember there rly mite not be a tomorrow. so i need to focus on the here and now. i need to be rdy for His second coming.. and so does everyone around me.. particularly, but not exclusively, my friends. from skool and from church. o.o and my family too.. not judging or anything, but i dun rly kno how well my parents' relationships with God are. oo, and like i thot bout this at the missions thing too like spreading God's love on the TTC?! soo radical! but it makes so much sense! like i meet hundreds of ppl a day.. wut an amazing oppurtunity to do acts of kindness? and perhaps start a conversation about God? tho that DOES sound very difficult.. but ya.. i kinda thought of a lil trick =P i'll do something nice like give up my seat or sumthing.. then they'll be like, wut the?! and that's when i'll strike! but yes.. all this is very theoretical at the moment.

another thing that sorta tied into saturday's missions thing was tithing. like we were watching a documentary and in it this guy's saying how instead of giving to the church he gives directly to those in need. and like honestly im not very consistent with tithes. so i was thinkin mebbe i cud like save up the money i shud be offering and like DO something. not rly sur wut yet but perhaps that will come to me later.

and in terms of missions and stuff.. i dun rly think goin like overseas and stuff is rly for me. or at least i dun rly feel that God is calling me to this field AT THE MOMENT. i do, however, feel a calling to missions locally. like within my school sorta local. i feel like i need to rly put more effort into talking to my friends and stuff bout God. cuz i think a lot of them are pretty close to like accepting religion sorta. like a lot of them are actually quite interested in Christianity and stuff. so yes.. i feel a sorta responsibility to bring them to God.

and that is wut i have sorta been throwing around in my head for the past 3 days. didn't blog on friday/saturday.. ><

-brian^^

being sick is the sux..

so today i ended up feeling sick AGAIN!!! -.-" woke up at 4:30 this morning cuz i wasn't feelin good.. tried to fall asleep till 5:30 at which time i had to get up anyways because of badminton practice.. WHICH, ha.. ha.., ended up being cancelled because i was the only person who went (other than my coach) daang.. nice productive morning.. buut it was pretty cool cuz my coach person is like crazy nice and went and bought me soo much stuff to try to get me to feel better. =) yay free stuff. so i go home early and ya.. not much else is interesting..

so thankfully i did devo and read bible again today. and... i guess wut struck me the most was the passage bout not worrying (this is Matthew 6 btw) mmhmm.. made me realize how much i worry bout my own things and try to take everything into my own hands. cuz there are alotta worries in my life rite now. skool, uni, sickness, etc. and i just find myself so distracted by these worries that i forget that God will handle everything..

o, and pretty ironic thing. so i was giving 'advice' to my friend bout how God has a plan for everything and that He made us precisely as He wanted and stuff. and last night i just realized that i, myself, don't rly apply that to my own life. ya.. just a random thought.. giving advice to others that i don't even truly believe? hypocrite? (jks cuz Matthew 6 also had stuff bout hypocrites =P)

-brian^^

jyp and the wondergirls.. WE'RE BACK

so ya.. upon recent reflection of my life i have come to the conclusion that i am one that would greatly benefit from journaling/blogging. i feel that i have such a.. non-devoted life rite now. that is.. i feel like im living in such a way where i rly put little to no effort into my relationship with God. to put things more harshly, one could probably say that i am living as a Sunday Christian. (altho in my defense, i do try and live a christ-like life even at skool..) but ya.. and like just thinking bout wut it means to be a servant of God.. He calls us to devote our LIVES to Him. not just on sundays, not just sometimes, not just most of the time, but ALWAYS.
so lately there has been a resurgence in my daily bible reading and devos. i suppose that should be a good thing. but i dun rly feel like my heart is there.. dun rly FEEL like im spending that time with God. hai...
furthermore, i've been thinkin bout how badly i rly WANT God. and i realize that i don't want Him bad enough. there are things in this world that i long for more than i long for God and that's just twisted.. i just don't understand how to get my priorities straightened out.. i just wish i could replace my infatuations in wordly things with infatuation for God.
and that all sounds quite depressing and i have to admit that it has got me in a sorta >< mood.. so i will now attempt to cheer myself up by thinkin of happier things going on in my life rite now.
well.. currently no relationship problems.. so i guess that's a gud thing =)
lol and nothing else is rly that happy.. besides the fact that i have 47 days left of skool! YEYE

and that concludes my first blog since forever.. (hopefully now they'll come consistently)
feel free to bother me about not writing blogs.. or like reminding me to JUST INCASE
(assuming sum1's going to read this.. o.O)

-brian^^