reign in us

o great and mighty one,
with one desire we come.
that you
would reign,
that you would reign in us

so recently, there's been a lot of talk of distractions that get in the way of God. and i guess that's sumthing that every1 can relate to. for me, i think it's really a matter of getting my priorities straightened out. i've been thinkin about it, and i have come to the conclusion that the problem did not rest on how much time/attention I gave to other things. The problem was the amount of time/attention I was willing to give to God. The problem was my lack of a yearning for Him. Quantitatively, I did not hold other things abnormally high.. just in comparison to how highly I held God everything seemed to be so big.

now i have to find a way to readjust my life and focus on God more. I have already started this by trying to do devos/read the bible more (evident as I did devo's today despite the fact that I RLY need to work on my bio project due thursday ><) but ya, im trying out the whole 'everything will fall into place when you place God first' sorta thing. guess i'll see how things work out soon enough..

-brian^^

how can u look at the world in the same way..

firstly.. and sorta randomly, i had a very enjoyable day today =)

so i went to that missions thing at church this past saturday, and i must say it was rly gud. something that sorta struck me was when bern said like 'how can we look at the world in the same way after meeting Christ'? and i guess it was just like a wake-up call of how my life hasn't gone through the necessary changes after receiving Christ. I live such a passive lifestyle with an 'i'll-do-it-tomorrow' sort of attitude. and ya.. i guess i just have to remember there rly mite not be a tomorrow. so i need to focus on the here and now. i need to be rdy for His second coming.. and so does everyone around me.. particularly, but not exclusively, my friends. from skool and from church. o.o and my family too.. not judging or anything, but i dun rly kno how well my parents' relationships with God are. oo, and like i thot bout this at the missions thing too like spreading God's love on the TTC?! soo radical! but it makes so much sense! like i meet hundreds of ppl a day.. wut an amazing oppurtunity to do acts of kindness? and perhaps start a conversation about God? tho that DOES sound very difficult.. but ya.. i kinda thought of a lil trick =P i'll do something nice like give up my seat or sumthing.. then they'll be like, wut the?! and that's when i'll strike! but yes.. all this is very theoretical at the moment.

another thing that sorta tied into saturday's missions thing was tithing. like we were watching a documentary and in it this guy's saying how instead of giving to the church he gives directly to those in need. and like honestly im not very consistent with tithes. so i was thinkin mebbe i cud like save up the money i shud be offering and like DO something. not rly sur wut yet but perhaps that will come to me later.

and in terms of missions and stuff.. i dun rly think goin like overseas and stuff is rly for me. or at least i dun rly feel that God is calling me to this field AT THE MOMENT. i do, however, feel a calling to missions locally. like within my school sorta local. i feel like i need to rly put more effort into talking to my friends and stuff bout God. cuz i think a lot of them are pretty close to like accepting religion sorta. like a lot of them are actually quite interested in Christianity and stuff. so yes.. i feel a sorta responsibility to bring them to God.

and that is wut i have sorta been throwing around in my head for the past 3 days. didn't blog on friday/saturday.. ><

-brian^^

being sick is the sux..

so today i ended up feeling sick AGAIN!!! -.-" woke up at 4:30 this morning cuz i wasn't feelin good.. tried to fall asleep till 5:30 at which time i had to get up anyways because of badminton practice.. WHICH, ha.. ha.., ended up being cancelled because i was the only person who went (other than my coach) daang.. nice productive morning.. buut it was pretty cool cuz my coach person is like crazy nice and went and bought me soo much stuff to try to get me to feel better. =) yay free stuff. so i go home early and ya.. not much else is interesting..

so thankfully i did devo and read bible again today. and... i guess wut struck me the most was the passage bout not worrying (this is Matthew 6 btw) mmhmm.. made me realize how much i worry bout my own things and try to take everything into my own hands. cuz there are alotta worries in my life rite now. skool, uni, sickness, etc. and i just find myself so distracted by these worries that i forget that God will handle everything..

o, and pretty ironic thing. so i was giving 'advice' to my friend bout how God has a plan for everything and that He made us precisely as He wanted and stuff. and last night i just realized that i, myself, don't rly apply that to my own life. ya.. just a random thought.. giving advice to others that i don't even truly believe? hypocrite? (jks cuz Matthew 6 also had stuff bout hypocrites =P)

-brian^^

jyp and the wondergirls.. WE'RE BACK

so ya.. upon recent reflection of my life i have come to the conclusion that i am one that would greatly benefit from journaling/blogging. i feel that i have such a.. non-devoted life rite now. that is.. i feel like im living in such a way where i rly put little to no effort into my relationship with God. to put things more harshly, one could probably say that i am living as a Sunday Christian. (altho in my defense, i do try and live a christ-like life even at skool..) but ya.. and like just thinking bout wut it means to be a servant of God.. He calls us to devote our LIVES to Him. not just on sundays, not just sometimes, not just most of the time, but ALWAYS.
so lately there has been a resurgence in my daily bible reading and devos. i suppose that should be a good thing. but i dun rly feel like my heart is there.. dun rly FEEL like im spending that time with God. hai...
furthermore, i've been thinkin bout how badly i rly WANT God. and i realize that i don't want Him bad enough. there are things in this world that i long for more than i long for God and that's just twisted.. i just don't understand how to get my priorities straightened out.. i just wish i could replace my infatuations in wordly things with infatuation for God.
and that all sounds quite depressing and i have to admit that it has got me in a sorta >< mood.. so i will now attempt to cheer myself up by thinkin of happier things going on in my life rite now.
well.. currently no relationship problems.. so i guess that's a gud thing =)
lol and nothing else is rly that happy.. besides the fact that i have 47 days left of skool! YEYE

and that concludes my first blog since forever.. (hopefully now they'll come consistently)
feel free to bother me about not writing blogs.. or like reminding me to JUST INCASE
(assuming sum1's going to read this.. o.O)

-brian^^